Jokes and Riddles

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Student: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken.Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

A company is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs, at different levels, some climbing up, some climbing down.
The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, and the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.