Jokes and Riddles

Fun Facts:

A cow produces 200 times more gas a day than a person.

Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.

A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel can.

A duck's quack doesn't echo.

A cockroach can live for several weeks without its head.

There are more atoms in a single speck of visible matter, no matter how small, than there are stars in the galaxy.

What does a mermaid who likes math wear?

An algaebra.

What's the one similarity between a pirate and a butt pirate?
They both love booty.

Here's a song that I remember someone singing from over 8 years ago. I remember it very clearly:

"I believe I can fly
I got shot by the FBI
All I wanted was a chicken wing
On my way to Burger King
I believe I can soar
I shot my mother through that open door-or-or
I believe, I can flllyy"

Michael Richards Stuff

Great Quotes from Sir Michael Richards:

"These pretzels are making me racist."

"50 years ago *** ***** *** ***** **** ****** ***** ***** ** **** electroshock therapy *** #$@% ***************** **** *** ****** *** ******** ***** **** ***** donkey show **** ****** ***** *** ***** ****** **** fuck **** ******* **** **** ********** ******* ******* **** ******* bob sacamento."

"He's not black is he?"

"I made Stalin out of pasta."

"Jerry, I have an idea for a cologne. It's called, 'Get off my lawn you n*****' by Calvin Klein."