You know who I hate? I really hate Time. Time is going too fast for me, I'm always like, "Hey, Time, why don't you slow your ass down so I can enjoy the summer?" But noooo, Time has to just keep going so fast, never stopping, ever! And don't even get me started about when I'm sleeping. When I'm sleeping, it's like he becomes the Flash, and he makes 3 hours (I don't get much sleep) seem like 3 minutes. Don't tell anybody, but I might think about kidnapping Time, and making him do as I please. If I'm having a good time, I'll make him stop, and not move again until I say so. I tried to do this once, but Time packs Duel Desert Eagles, a USSOCOM pistol, a M72 LAW, and an AK-74. One time I tried to get him and he pulled out a combat knife, put me away in the hospital for seven months. Then when that happened he decided to go all slow, which I thought was plain unfair. I guess he was getting back at me for trying to kidnap him. Well, when Time least expects it, I'll strike at him again. This time I will succeed!

I just saw a commercial I haven't seen in a long time. Well, it's a new commercial, with an old character. It had McGruff, the crime dog. The last time I saw him he was trying to get kids to order his crime comic book, and now he's onto warning people about identity theft. He says, "McGruff here, and I'm here to warn you about identity theft. Here's how they do it. This guy here is taking a picture of this woman's credit card with his cell phone!" Then he said some other stuff, and finished off with his "Help take a bite out of crime." I'm pretty sure those commercials are aimed at kids, so why are they telling kids about identity theft? They don't need to worry about that till they're 16. And that's a pretty good idea, taking pictures of credit cards with your cell phone, I've never thought of that before. I wonder how many people are going to go out and try that because they've seen that commercial. At least 500, AT LEAST. Why is the dog walking around in one of those tight, really concealing coats? I think he's one of those perverted creatures that walks around on the street and exposes themselves quickly, opening their coat for a second, and then hastily running away. I'm positive that's what he is.