Date of Entry: 11/16/06

I'm going to get one of those Disney Mobile phones. I think I'm going to be one of the first people who is not going to use it for it's mobile speaking purposes, but for it's tracking purposes. As you may or may not know, Disney phones tracks it's carriers with satellites; looks like Walt is playing Nazi from the grave. But don't worry, I won't use the phone for Jew-killing purposes, I just want to plant it on people. I don't have an exact reason yet, but I have some creative ideas. Perhaps I could place it on a friend, and show up at an odd place, and say, "I have powers. I can track you." No, that's stupid. I think I should put it in some random persons back, and then approach them at their house and say, "I think you have my phone," and when they're not looking I steal their refrigerator. Mine's broken, I need a new one, and that's the best idea I can come up with without having to spend money.

What's with the fatcats? I see all these fatcats everywhere, and it makes me angry, seeing all these fatcats. Why can't I have a fatcat? My cat is pretty skinny; I'm overfeeding him in a feeble attempt to fatten him up, but it's not working. I bet you're wondering why I want my cat to be obese, perhaps even morbidly obese. You see, sometimes I'll bring him to my bed, and he'll be there, and then he'll run away. I don't want him to run away. I want him to be so fat that the energy it would take to stand up would make him lose a full, fat-filled pound. I want him to live on my bed, and every now and then I'll carry him to his food and water bowls. As for the waste excretions, I don't care. My bed will just get dirty again anyway.