Date of Entry: 11/25/06

It's funny how legal things affect everything. Like in Jackass, they have to say "Don't try this at home", or they get sued. But there are a lot of small little things that people don't notice that are actually quite funny. In all car commercials, where it shows the car moving around, it always says, "Professional driver on closed course". They need to say that because all around America, people are glued to the TV waiting for someone to legally slip up. For example, let's say it doesn't say "Professional driver". That person, waiting for the legal mistake, jumps up, gets in a car, and drives into the desert at top speed, crashes, then sues whoever made the commercial for not stating it was a professional driver. The sad thing is, that could probably happen. And what exactly is a "professional driver", anyway? The things I think of when people say professional driver are valet guys and chauffeurs. Are there people whose main job is just driving cars for commercials? I guess there are.

One of the things Wal-Mart is famous for is hiring disabled, old, and foreign people, but I think they've gone too far. When I was waiting for the Wii, a Mexican (named Jose, and I'm not even kidding about that, it was on his name tag) came in, and we asked him if he worked here or if he wanted the Wii, as his tag wasn't showing then. He's like, "Ehh?" And we're like, "Do you work here?" and he pauses, and then is like, "Ehh?" and shows his badge or tag or whatever. So then he goes in, and we're all like, "Wow, he doesn't know any English. How does he get by here?" And one guy said that if you move to a country you should learn the language.

Here's my solution to illegal immigration: Wal-Mart, stop hiring Mexicans who can't speak English. That will cut illegal immigrates by 70.6%.